Obsession V Discipline - what a difference!

I have been asked a useful question re: Obsession versus Discipline - what is the difference?

This is something we all need to be aware of to ensure we do not get ourselves into trouble in our quest to become healthier. Basically, one way of being is really damaging and extreme- emotionally and physically- whereas the other is useful and empowering.

Definitions give a useful insight:

So Obsession is defined as:

1. Compulsive preoccupation with a fixed idea or an unwanted feeling or emotion, often accompanied by symptoms of anxiety.

2. A compulsive, often unreasonable idea or emotion.

Whereas Discipline is defined as:

1. Training expected to produce a specific character or pattern of behaviour, especially training that produces moral or mental improvement.

2. Controlled behaviour resulting from disciplinary training; self-control.

Note the anxiety and unwanted emotions in the first, whereas the second focuses on possible moral and mental improvement. You could say that one is a voluntary and mindful act with positive aims whereas the other involves much less control and usually ends in disaster or is not sustainable.

So if you are going to embark on a health and well being plan this New Year, check and make sure that you are working towards discipline as opposed to developing a harmful obsession. This could help ensure you have a healthy AND happy 2012.

What if you get injured or ill?

One of my big fears is embarking on a plan and then being thrown off course by an injury or illness.

Of course the first thing to think of is "what is right for you and your body" and ask yourself some hard questions - just to check:

Could it be that the diet or exercise plan you are doing is what is causing the illness in the first place? Maybe it is too extreme an exercise programme and that is causing you to be exhausted or your body to be too stressed? If so, what should you do?

My ultimate answer is always to:

Listen to yourself - your own intuition and knowledge of your own body is the best advice there is available to you. So do not ignore the warning signs and moderate the diet or exercise plan accordingly. You do not necessarily need to stop and there is no shame in adjusting your plan to what is right for you.

If you are still feeling well or are unsure what to do then seek professional advice. Talk to your GP if you are feeling unusually unwell as it may just be a coincidence and something may be happening that needs an expert to look at. Talk to a personal trainer or your class teacher to see if you can moderate your programme to suit you. If you are embarking on a diet plan speak to your GP or a nutritionist to see if they advocate your plan before you start.

Never do anything to extremes - take small steps to achieve success - The most successful dieters are those who lose steady regular amounts and work primarily on changing their behaviour. The best exercise programmes adjust steadily to the individual's capabilities and stay fresh and fun. The same rules apply whatever your aims. Extremes can lead to disaster and failure, so it pays to avoid them.

If you are unfortunate enough to get injured or ill then always allow yourself to recover properly and fully before you go back to your diet or training - possibly in an adjusted format once you have taken all the advice you are given. What you don't want to do is to make your injury or illness worse or more prolonged. Worst case scenario is you make yourself so ill you can never go back to it!

Remember - your plan will always be there to pick up when you are ready for it; it is not going anywhere.

Make it fun!

Making an activity fun so you keep doing it may seem such a simple idea but it is often the simple ideas that are the most effective.
Remember that the guy who invented the cats eyes became a multi millionaire!

It is also a truism that if you make something a chore then you simply will not want to do it. You will rebel and ultimately stop doing it. So in reality you do have to make it fun to underwrite your commitment to the activity.

So how do you make losing weight, getting fit, getting less stressed actually fun? Well there are many ways:

Why not find the form of exercise that you enjoy so you go for the joy of it as much as for the exercise.
For example - after years of persuasion I finally got my husband to a dance class - salsa. He was the life and soul and loved it. His main comment was 'we could really lose weight doing this and not even realise it is exercise'. Hallelujah!

Everyone has something they are going to enjoy doing. I have a friend who swears by the treadmill and some good music. She meditates on her day and comes off the treadmill feeling so much better. Others will prefer team games or walking the dog in the countryside. There is so much variety out there that it will not be hard to find your FUN ACTIVITY and not even notice you are exercising.

Another way of making it fun is to do it with others.
Go dieting with a friend or a diet buddy. Compete or just support each other and have a laugh at the same time. You do not need to suffer to achieve your goals.

Make it achievable.
Setting yourself a goal or a project that is unrealistic from the outset is soul destroying and self-defeating. Even making several mini projects is better - break down the ultimate goals into lots of victories on the way.

Celebrate your achievements. 
If you have to keep working to an aim or a project without any celebration on the way, believe me, it will take longer or you may not even get there. So celebrate all the little successes en route.

I look forward to hearing about all the fun and laughter on your journeys to wellness, fitness and weight loss.

What happens if you have a bad day?

Even with the best laid plans, a willpower of steel and numerous support structures in place, it can still go wrong sometimes. Sometimes life just gets in the way and despite your best organisation, the inevitable will happen and your healthy plans fall by the wayside.

So I was asked the question last week - how do I cope when this happens? Here are my top 'coping tips' when that happens:

1. Laugh about it - yes really. Try to lighten the load so it does not burden you down into more blips in your get fit, get well, lose weight plan. Laughing will put you in a better frame of mind to deal with the issue and to stay positive so you can move on to the next good day.

2.  Breathe - If you really can't laugh (and sometimes we all have a sense of humour failure when things get too much) then just give yourself a moment, a time out and take some deep breaths. That little bit of separation into a personal oasis will enable you to come back, re-focus and deal with the issue appropriately.

3. Re-group - Sometimes stuff happens that blows apart a plan so you feel that it is no longer possible. Usually it is possible you may just need to take a new, fresh approach. So try to laugh or breath or both and then think about how you can make a new plan of attack to your mission. Life is flexible and you need to be too.

4. Give thanks - By this I mean, think about all the positives that you have already achieved or that you have in your life. The idea is to bring yourself back to a glowing happy space and away from focuses purely on the event that has knocked you off course.

5. Be kind to yourself - Try to get some perspective on what has gone wrong. Eating one chocolate bar whilst on a diet is not the end of the world. See it for what it is - a momentary blip - and return to your plan. It has not be destroyed. Self-punishment will only make you feel worse and do more of the comfort eating behaviour that you are so upset about it. So why not try a new approach.

Remember - sometimes problems are not problems but they are opportunities for you to test yourself. You can explore a new approach to life and learn to look at things a different way. I wavered on my diet and had a dessert this Sunday - I regretted it instantly and as a result did not enjoy it. But I am not beating myself up about it. I have learnt that it is not worth the sabotage to my diet if I am not going to enjoy it so I will have a cup of tea next time and really savour it. It was simply an opportunity to think up a new approach to this dilemma at mealtimes.